the book
we choose to serve without sacrificing ourselves
Tell Me My Story—Challenging the Narrative of Service Before Self
2025 Independent Press Award Distinguished Favorite
2024 NYC Big Book Award Distinguished Favorite
#1 New Release in Workplace Culture on Amazon
Excerpted in the Stanford Social Innovation Review
Now available at your favorite audio book retailer or library.
tell me your story.
These words were a key part of every interview I conducted with asylum seekers and refugees for over a decade of my career — an invitation for some of the world's most vulnerable people to have someone bear witness to their experiences of fear, displacement, persecution, torture, injustice, trauma, violence, and grief.
But never once in all those years did I stop to consider that the story I needed to witness most of all was my own.
What started as a leadership book turned into part memoir, part manifesto as I realized the healing power of sharing my story — first with myself and then with others. I wrote it because I believe that those of us who choose to work in human-centered fields love the work and are compelled by a common desire to alleviate the suffering of other humans — even if it means bearing our own pain in silence and shame. And because those same two decades showed me that service doesn't have to come at this cost.
Part memoir, part manifesto, Tell Me My Story names these wounds honestly — vicarious trauma, moral injury, institutional betrayal, systemic grief — and then does something most books in this space don't: it moves through them. Following my signature story-healing arc from shaping to sharing, this book offers both a framework for understanding how our stories influence our service, and a practice for challenging outdated narratives so we can begin writing new ones.
"Healing our stories is fundamental to enhancing our mental, physical, emotional, relational, and spiritual health and well-being, and it's what allows us to continue showing up as the best versions of ourselves — for ourselves, for our loved ones, and for the people we serve."
— Dimple Dhabalia
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service without sacrifice
is a story we must write together
I wrote Tell Me My Story to open a conversation and offers an invitation to consider how our decision to pursue a career in service of others, and our capacity for holding others’ pain may have been shaped by more than meets the eye. These two offerings are where that conversation continues — in community, in witness, and in the kind of story-healing that allows us to keep serving others without sacrificing ourselves in the process.
go deeper in community
Writing Circles
A guided six-week journey through each section of the book, ending in your own story. We write together, share together, and witness each other. This is story-healing as practice — not just reading about narrative transformation, but actually doing it, in community.
Community Conversations
A monthly 90-minute live conversation about the book — open to anyone who has read it and wants to go deeper. Bring your questions, your reactions, your disagreements. Direct access to Dimple, in a small group of no more than ten people, every last Tuesday of the month.
We can choose to serve without sacrificing ourselves by working together to rewrite the long-standing narrative of service before self and shift our collective expectations about what it means to be a of service in an era of polycrisis.
praise for tell me my story
“Tell Me My Story is a book for people and organizations who seek to make a difference in the world. Weaving poignant stories from her own life and work as a humanitarian, Dimple Dhabalia offers suggestions and practices for how people and organizations can shift their mindsets and create cultures of empathy. This book should be required reading for staff at institutions that serve communities around the world.”
- Deepa Iyer, author of Social Change Now:
A Guide for Reflection and Connection
Tell Me My Story shares Dhabalia's unique experiences in finding a better way to live your life, while acknowledging, but living fully and healthily, exposure to both familial and workplace trauma. It is a must read book for all those who work in fields that expose them to the traumatic experiences of others (secondary trauma) or those who have lived through their own traumatic familial or life experiences. Dhabalia's insights help the reader find understanding of their own actions or reactions without guilt or judgment. She suggests a better way to live fully in the moment, while acknowledging trauma, than just surviving and working "through it." A book that should be given to each judicial officer who takes the bench and distributed to the judicial and probation staff in every courthouse to create a safe, caring workplace. Every public service lawyer, and their supervisors, should read this book.
- The Hon. Elizabeth Weishaupl,
Mediator/ Arbitrator/ Special Appointed Neutral
“Part story, part manifesto, Tell Me My Story is a fully moving account of what it means - and what is costs - to be a humanitarian. Dimple beautifully captures the experience of being called to do this work - and the sometimes heart-wrenching costs of that calling. In telling her story, she has told parts of all our stories. As the humanitarian aid sector continues to struggle with how to truly take care of its workforce, Dimple gives voice to the feelings that are often unspoken and shows us a way forward for ourselves and the organizations we work for.”
- Rebecca Dempster, Ph.D., Founder, Resileo
“A compelling mix of vulnerable storytelling and call-to-action, Tell Me My Story 'turns the light on' challenges like vicarious trauma and burnout that many humanitarian aid workers experience, and the need for change in how staff are cared for in this high-stress field.”
- Lauren Williamson, INGO Staff Care Professional and Seasoned Humanitarian Aid Worker
"This book shares invaluable insights and provides readers a guide to explore one's own path of self-compassion and care. Tell Me My Story is not just a book; it's a transformative experience that should be on the reading list of every advocate, helping professional, and compassionate leader."
- Katrina Whitney, Director, Central Washington University; Mindfulness Practitioner and Equity and Social Justice Advocate
“Dhabalia has provided a heart-felt account of the joys, sorrows, challenges and triumphs of not only her life, but those whose lives she's touched or has been touched by during her years as a professional humanitarian. This is a must read—not only for those who dedicate their lives to helping others, but for all who have a story waiting to heal them as well.”
- Angela Bailey, Founder & CEO, Angela Bailey and Associates and Former Chief Human Capital Officer, Department of Homeland Security
"A much needed, deeply healing, and eminently practical salve for those called to the service of others living through some of the hardest moments and toughest circumstances. It's time to start helping the helpers, Tell Me My Story shows us the way."
- Jonathan Fields, Founder of Good Life Project® & bestselling author of SPARKED
"Tell Me My Story is a compelling and insightful exploration of the human spirit. Dhabalia paints a vivid picture of the challenges and sacrifices faced by those who dedicate their lives to helping others, and courageously shares her own journey along the way. This book is a profound guide for anyone navigating the complexities of service, and shows how embracing our humanity can lead to transformative healing and change."
- David Treleaven, PhD, author of Trauma-Sensitive Mindfulness: Practices for Safe and Transformative Healing
Dimple D. Dhabalia
about the author
Dimple Dhabalia, JD | ICF ACC is a leadership coach, consultant, international speaker, author, and founder of Roots in the Clouds — a coaching and consulting practice for sustainable service in mission-driven sectors. Drawing on nearly two decades of federal service — including work on some of the most complex human-centered challenges in global refugee, asylum, and migration policy and operations — Dimple brings together lived experience, clinical grounding, and contemplative practice in her work with leaders and organizations navigating an era of global polycrisis.
At the heart of Dimple's work is a simple conviction: that integrity in practice — staying rooted in our values, our humanity, and our conscience — is what makes sustainable service possible. Her unique approach brings together story-healing, moral imagination, and spiritual ecology to create conditions that support ongoing moral reclamation and regenerative leadership, while providing pathways for leaders and their teams to move from reactive patterns to values-aligned, sustainable service.
Her work has been featured in the Stanford Social Innovation Review, Fast Company, CEO World Magazine, and the Federal News Network. She is the creator and host of two podcasts: Service Without Sacrifice, a limited-series companion to this book, and What Would Ted Lasso Do?, exploring life and leadership through the lens of the beloved TV series.
Find Dimple @dimpstory across social platforms and on Substack.
TELL ME MY STORY challenges the belief
that by choosing a career in the service of others,
we agree to sacrifice our time, our relationships,
our health and well-being—our humanity.
“Through authentic and vulnerable story-telling, Tell Me My Story shares a narrative to which anyone who lives or works in service of others can relate. Dhabalia challenges the common and perhaps dangerous narrative that we should simply suck it up to move forward through personal or vicarious trauma. She offers a practical approach and personal stories that demonstrate how self-care will magnify the duration and impact of one’s efforts to serve others. And she further extends her Humanitarian Manifesto to leaders and organizations in hopes that we will recognize the long-term benefits of human-centered cultures.”
–Steve Wiley, Founder & President of CEEK LLC and Author of Amazon #1 Best-Seller, Navigate Chaos
additional praise for tell me my story
Tell Me My Story is a must-read for anyone who advocates, cares for, and helps others. It’s a testament to the power of vulnerability, compassion, and self-reflection in the pursuit of helping those in need. Dhabalia’s words serve as a guiding light for those of us committed to making the world a better place, reminding us that we must fill our own cups before we can pour into the cups of those we seek to help and true service begins with understanding and nurturing ourselves. This book share's invaluable insights and provides readers a guide to explore one's own path of self-compassion and care. Tell Me My Story is not just a book; it’s a transformative experience that should be on the reading list of every advocate, helping professional, and compassionate leader.”
– Katrina Whitney, Director, Central Washington University, Mindfulness Practitioner and Equity and Social Justice Advocate
For anyone doing healing or humanitarian work, this extraordinary and candid book should be required reading. It's a working prayer— helping you discover why you are on your path, and how to follow it with freedom, inner guidance, and self-acceptance.
–Ellen Balis, Ed.D., Clinical Psychologist
This book gives those of us in nonprofit management - in any sector - the opportunity and guidance we need to rethink what it means to fulfill our Duty of Care responsibility. It provides practical, human-centered advice that can assist us in creating and rewarding healthy practices for our teams. If you want your organization and sector to thrive, I encourage you to join me in taking this book's recommendations to heart and implementing them in practice
–Jennifer Owens, President & CEO,
Arlington Community Foundation
Read Tell Me My Story by Dimple Dhabalia. Cry, laugh, smile, frown, feel your clenched muscles, notice your insights, and feel affirmed in your own experiences and quest for well-being as you try to change the world. You are what Dhabalia calls a humanitarian. You are her witnesses to the compelling story of her life, her work, and what she has learned. Dimple Dhabalia’s memoir powerfully speaks to a broad group of people who care about making positive change in the world, who are by nature and work invested in making our planet a more just, equitable, kind, and compassionate place. Her work speaks to humanitarians who are suffering from caring at the expense of self. Through a compelling integration of her personal and professional experiences, Dhabalia brings to life the forces at play in humanitarian efforts. She describes the competing needs of home, work, family, and well-being in ways that draw the reader immediately into her experiences and ideas. I felt as though I were invited into a conversation with her throughout the book. I found myself scribbling notes on paper to remember what she said and how that made me think about my own life and experiences. I wanted to remember ideas like moral injury and moral imperative, living in a culture of martyrdom, duty of care to ourselves and collectively to all of us, and a mistaken idea that we are – and need to be - superhuman to be enough. Dhabalia moves beyond her narrative by offering a conceptual framework for the reader to use in their own reflections and insights. It is based on the idea: “In that calmer space between what happened to us and our usual automatic reaction we can instead choose a different response that will better serve us in that situation.”
–Pat Vivian, co-author,
Organizational Trauma and Healing
“Tell Me My Story comes at a pivotal moment for government and other human-centered organizations. In the race for recruiting and retaining high-performing humanitarians who will continue to thrive and deliver on their mission, leaders can easily adopt the brilliant Manifesto Dhabalia has developed. Her outline of practices will help senior leaders set the tone for the change that is needed now in these organizations. This wonderful and honest book is useful reading for all levels of humanitarians looking to lead with their heart, while protecting it.”
–Anne Baker, Foreign Service Officer of the United States of America, Retired
A quote from the Tao Te Ching says “When the student is ready the teacher will appear.” I felt the truth of this while reading Dimple Dhabalia’s thought-provoking book Tell Me My Story--Challenging the Narrative of Service Before Self. After having leadership roles in non-profit organizations for over 30 years and seeing so many people affected by violence, trauma and a system that often blocks true healing & progress rather than supporting it, I was burnt out and feeling guilty about it. The pandemic added a whole different level of stress to work I used to be so passionate about. At this moment I was given a copy of Dimple’s book which spoke directly to all I’ve been struggling with. By being vulnerable and sharing her personal story, Dimple provides not only a refreshing way of looking at a career of service but specific steps to work through our own narratives and facilitate our own healing. This book has already helped me in my personal journey and I look forward to sharing its teachings with my colleagues.
–Corinne LeBaron, M.S.S., CEO embrella
Beautifully and thoughtfully written! An important read for every humanitarian, helper and idealist! Tell My Story shares powerful and poignant stories that illustrate the story-healing arc, challenging the pervasive narrative of” service before self” at the root of the current epic trends of compassion fatigue, overwhelm, moral injury and burnout that plagues helpers of all backgrounds. Adding the complexities of immigration, race, class and socio-economic status, Dimple highlights the importance of healing the unhelpful stories that stifle us helpers and disrupt our quest to serve sustainably and thrive as we make a difference. This book inspires the hope that humanitarians can go from surviving to thriving, living meaningful and joyful lives as they make their positive impact in the world!
–Yvonne Ator, MD, MPH Coach, Advocate and Founder of Thriving Idealist and Thriving Physicians
As a clinical social worker, I have served clients for decades in fields ranging from corrections and domestic violence, to dementia and end-of-life care. I know the high cost of putting service before self, as I have paid the price for doing so myself countless times. If only I would have had a well-seasoned guide like Dimple Dhabalia early on in my career to demonstrate the courage and vulnerability it takes to put ourselves first as humanitarians, how different my life might have been. By following Dimple’s example, I could have learned to serve others not from a place of endless exhaustion and lack, but rather from a place of abundance born of deep self-care and strong boundaries. Anyone with a true heart for service should read this book as early in your career as possible. It will not only save you from unnecessary trauma and all that comes with it, but also compassionately remind you that giving voice to our own humanity and stories is just as important as the vital services we deliver to the world and its people.
–Kay Adams, LCSW. Author of
"Bedside Witness: Stories of Hope, Healing, and Humanity."
The humans are just as important as the work they do. Dimple has woven asl beautiful memoir that is far more than stories from her life. She shows the way forward out of workplace trauma and into embracing the wholeness of people at work. Well-researched, captivating, and exquisitely crafted, Tell Me My Story is a gift of narrative, map, and manifesto into creating workplace cultures that care for everyone involved. Leaders and culture change agents, you need this book.
–Jenn Whitmer, International Keynote Speaker,
host of Joyosity™ podcast, and Joy-Bringer